FC junior high teacher Matthew Weimer writes a weekly blog entitled ‘Behind the Desk.’ Weimer writes from the perspective of a teacher, looking out on students’ life, hoping to give advice to his readers.

Courage to let go

weimerJennifer Smith | The Feather Online Archive
As my wife’s health slips away from us, I find that my life is changing quickly. It seems everyone around me is encouraging me to step away from the things I’ve been doing and seek GOD, the same GOD who is poised to take half of me away.

I will, for no one else has the words of life. I will seek Him in the morning and relearn how to walk in His ways.

But I must confess to being excited and scared. It feels like stepping out on wisps of vapor, my weight, and the weight of my four children to be supported by what looks like less than cotton candy? But this is the GOD who led Moses through the sea, and Joshua across the Jordan at flood stage.

He led me here, to FC, seven years ago on a trail that was not much more substantial.

He is the One who made it possible to bring my oldest daughter home from college in Kansas last weekend. A colleague offered to pay for a ticket to bring Jenna home, not knowing where the money would come from. When he returned home from school a check was in his mailbox.

While she was visiting, re-connecting with her mother, and us, we contacted her pitching coach and set up a time for her to throw. I am her catcher, so after church I changed my clothes. As I did GOD asked me a question.

“Do you remember Friday night?”

Of course I did. That was the night we picked up Jenna at the airport. We were all so excited to see her earlier than the original December reunion we had planned. As we waited at the end of the long hallway, Lindsay, my youngest girl, must have been even more excited than I was. She shot past me and grabbed the first hug. Then I held her.

The thoughts came tumbling in like water. That?s how You feel about my wife.

“That?s how I feel about My daughter.”

Of course she?s Yours, and though this week marks 21 years of having her as my partner, my helper, my beloved, she?s more Yours than she is mine.

Change. Rapid change. Yes, I?ll seek the one who loves me, and I will love Him though He slays me. My decision is much like C.S. Lewis’ quote: “I would rather be consumed by Him than fed by another.”

Follow The Feather via Twitter @thefeather and Instagram @thefeatheronline.

For more features, read the Nov. 21 article, Jack Leonard: A veterans perspective (PODCAST).